Dealing with the baby blues

Having a baby for the first time is a huge change in your life. Having a second baby is an ever bigger change. The second you become pregnant, you'll never be the same. I read somewhere a while ago that even after you've delivered the baby, a tiny amount of their DNA remains inside of you forever. That's kinda cool to think about; because of Maverick and Madison, I have a tiny amount of Joe's DNA in me. That's insane. I never checked snopes.com so I don't know the validity of this, but lets just go ahead and say that its true ;).  

With your body changing so much after having a baby, its extremely common to go through a phase called the "baby blues" --yet its rarely talked about. After having Maverick I was completely fine (minus all of the itching from the allergic reaction to the morphine); I went home from the hospital and didn't take a single pain pill. I thought that because I was fine with my first pregnancy, I'd be fine with my second--and that just wasn't the case. You may have read about my baby blues in my Parenting: Not As Easy As It May Seem post, but I didn't share my tips on how to get through them.

Its crazy to me the amount of women that go through this, yet its almost taboo to talk about it. When I was going through it, I was honestly embarrassed. It was embarrassing--this was my second child, I knew what to do, and I should have been fine. I think I blamed myself for a lot of it even though I had no control over it. Transitioning from one to two kids was hard, but doing it while dealing with the baby blues made it even worse. I felt trapped in my house (it probably didn't help that we lived in our 850 sq ft condo at the time). All I knew was that I needed to get out of the baby blues fast--I was so tired of crying, having anxiety attacks, having no appetite, and feeling overwhelmed. I started trying to figure out where the root of the problem was, and from there I was able to work my way out of it. Here are a few tips that helped me tremendously:

1. Get out of the house. Go anywhere--the park, to a friend's house, to a restaurant--anywhere. I felt trapped inside the walls of my house, and it helped to get out of there.

2. Try to get a good night's sleep. Ask your husband to take over the nighttime feedings as much as he can; if you're breastfeeding, have your husband go get the baby and bring them to you so that you can stay in bed. Getting a good night's sleep is key. I remember at one point, a few days after I had Madison, we packed up the kids and drove over to my parents house that night. I had been hysterically crying all day and just needed to get out. I hadn't slept in about 3 days and was just exhausted. My parents took both kids upstairs and I was somehow talked into taking a Tylenol PM and drinking a small glass of wine. It was enough to take the edge off and I quickly fell asleep. Getting a good night's rest will help you feel refreshed and not bogged down so that you can take on the day.

3. Try to plan a small getaway for the near future. I felt like I was a robot--doing the same thing, every day, over and over. All of the days morphed into one and it felt hopeless. I told Joe that I needed something to look forward to, so we booked a mini kid-less Vegas vacation for a few weeks from then. That helped tremendously. Having something to look forward to and count down to made the days go by quicker, and it helped me to focus on the fact that the days weren't morphed into one; every morning I'd wake up and it would be a new day.

4. Try and get a little 'you' time. Getting out of the house is a great way to disconnect, but getting some 'you' time will help you regroup and clear your mind. It doesn't have to be a whole day; just go out and get a pedicure (you'll get some time alone AND have pretty feet!). You'll definitely come home feeling refreshed.

...guaranteed you know someone who has gone through the baby blues and you just don't know it. No one ever wants to talk about it. Next time someone has a baby, ask them how they're doing instead of how the baby is doing. If they're comfortable enough, they might tell you whats really going on, and maybe you can help them out. Cook them a meal. Offer to babysit or tidy up the house for them. Anything. I'm sure they'll appreciate the gesture.

Luckily for me, the baby blues only lasted a few weeks. For some women it lasts way longer and turns into postpartum depression. Having a baby is no joke. It takes a toll on your health--both mentally and physically. However, it does get better. You just have to figure out how to get there. Sometimes it requires medicine, and sometimes it just takes using a few of these steps I listed to get there. I remember when I was going through it, as soon as I started feeling better, I knew that I wanted to help anyone that was going through the same thing. Constant anxiety attacks and crying for no reason is never fun--and if I could help just one person out then I'd be happy.

Pass this on to anyone you think may be going through a hard time transitioning to motherhood--they may need some words of encouragement. <3