Flashback Friday

I was up pretty late last night thinking about writing this post. My mind was running a million miles a second, and I debated even writing this. I decided to just do it--this blog is about me and my life raising two kids--all while trying to stay fit and healthy, but still find a nice middle ground with baking desserts. If I'm not open about everything on here, then whats the point? So I decided to share some stories from my childhood--growing up with one hand. This is going to be a fun one, so sit back and enjoy!

Lets go back to elementary school. I'll never forget when my parents bought me this specific arm that was operated by this massive battery that was ridiculously heavy. I always hated that arm--and I felt bad because it cost a small fortune ($25k!). They bought it for me because it looked like a real hand, and it was functional in the sense that it opened and closed and I could pick stuff up with it. It also looked 'prettier' when I was up on stage performing in dance recitals. Well, this arm proved to be a hassle a lot of the time. When I was in school, I'll never forget loving swinging on the swings--until my arm battery died and left me stranded on the swings until my mom could get to the school to switch out the battery. I know it sounds sad and depressing, but I never looked at it that way. Hey, I got an extended recess, and they always let me pick a friend to sit there and swing with me until my mom got there. Pretty awesome, right? That stupid arm would die and get stuck on everything--I'd be holding my backpack and the battery would die and I'd end up just dragging the backpack around for a while. Thinking back, that must have looked HILARIOUS.. I cant even imagine.

I remember a time when my mom took us and a bunch of our friends to the beach. We were digging in the sand looking for sand crabs, and a little girl decided to come dig with us. I don't know how long we were digging for, but all I remember is standing up, this little girl taking one look at my arm and running off SCREAMING--she thought that sand crabs bit my arm off. Its so funny how when you have one arm, you don't need to make up interesting stories about "what happened" --everyone does it for you. A few years ago, before I had kids and I was still working, someone overheard me talking about a car accident I had been in, and they instantly assumed that's what happened to my arm--so that's what everyone thought happened: a car accident. In reality,  was just born missing part of it. No hereditary thing--just a random thing that I was born with. I remember as a kid thinking that it would have been funny if my little sister had been born with 3 arms--but that didn't happen :).

It seems a lot of funny stuff happened when I was elementary school age, because here's another one I remember. I was out in my backyard playing with my friends and I somehow scratched my cornea and had to go to urgent care. The nurse was checking us in and taking my vitals--trying to get my pulse from my fake hand (the hand looked pretty real, so I'll give him that). After trying for several minutes, he finally looked at me with a blank, surprised face and exclaimed "you don't have a pulse." ...my mom and I started laughing and told him that he was trying to get a pulse out of a fake hand.. I don't think he thought it was that funny. Lol. Several minutes later, the doctor came in and started to examine my eye. He told me that he was going to put some sort of cream over my eye--and he wanted me to feel the stuff beforehand so I wouldn't freak out: he rubbed some on my fake hand and said "see, its no big deal." ...we then had to tell him too that it wasn't a real hand. His face turned BRIGHT red and I think he was pretty embarrassed. Poor guy.

I remember growing up wishing that my parents would go easy on me; they would punish me for anything, and I'd think "man, why cant they go easy on me cause I only have one hand?!" Well, thank god they didn't--because I would have grown up feeling entitled and sorry for myself. Once I got older, I realized that its kind of a cool thing--I can sometimes get out of stuff (not in the way you're thinking). I surfed and played Varsity tennis throughout high school, but when it came to getting pulled over by a cop and getting a ticket, I wasn't having it. Still to this day, I cant believe I did this--but it worked. Lets do a little back story.

I got my first job when I was 16, and sometimes I'd have to stay late at night. I drove an '87 Pontiac Thunderbird (I LOVED that car) and would often get compliments on it (even though the color of the car was super ugly). One night, after getting off work late, I was followed home by a man. I realized that I was being followed, so I called my mom and asked her what to do. My older sister took over, tailed the guy through our neighborhood, forced him to pull over, then screamed at him for being an idiot. He told her that he was just gonna see if my car was for sale, but she told him "you don't follow at 16-year-old girl home at 11:30 at night to see if her car is for sale." It was scary, yet hilarious. Okay, now fast forward.  A few months went by, I had a different car now, and after getting off work late at night, I realized that I was being followed home again. I freaked out and tried to speed to get away from them. They wouldn't let up! I sped through my neighborhood and rolled through two stop signs trying to get away from this guy. Nothing was working--until he flipped his lights on and pulled me over. SHOOT. How did I not realize this was a cop?! This guy literally walked up to my window dumbfounded as to how I would speed so much and roll through stop signs with him behind me. This was gonna be a BIG ticket. I was currently sick at the time--so my voice was already shot--and I could turn tears on in an instant, so I figured here goes nothin. He came back up to my window to give me my license and registration back, and I instantly started "crying." Here's what took place: "I'm so sorry officer! I recently lost my arm, and I just got fitted for this fake hand. Here--you can touch it if you want. (officer looks terrified) ...I must have somehow hit the cruise control on the steering wheel and not noticed it--I'm so sorry!" ...the officer stood there for a minute with a 'deer caught in the headlights' look on his face, said "um.. just be careful" and walked away. It worked. Are you kidding me--it worked?! I mean, how would you write a ticket to a poor little 16-year-old who "recently lost her arm and was adjusting to her new life?" ...I know, its bad. But it got me out of that ticket. I haven't been pulled over since, and I  know that I wouldn't do that again. I felt a little bit bad, but was more surprised that I worked.

So lets fast forward to a few weeks ago when Joe and I went to an indoor trampoline park with some friends. Let me just start with--if you've never been to an indoor trampoline park, you NEED to go. They are SO much fun, and they are crazy good workouts. Okay, back to the story. So we were all messin' around on the trampolines having a great time, and I somehow ate it hard. My arm ended up popping off, but staying in my jacket--and bent up toward my shoulder as if I completely blew my elbow out. I laid there laughing hysterically, and a few of the "referees" (teenage employees of the trampoline place) FREAKED out and yelled "oh my GOD, are you okay?!" ...if this had been a real arm, it would have been one of those gruesome scenes they show on sports center. These guys literally thought I was severely injured. Everyone in the group was saying how it would have been great if I had played it off like I actually was, but instead I just gave a 'thumbs up' and yelled "yep, fake hand" and left it at that.

A lot of you may think that growing up with one arm sucked, and I can honestly say that it didn't. I wont say that "everything is harder to do" --cause I honestly don't think it is. I HATE it when I do something normal and someone pops in a "wow--good for her." No thanks, none of that. You wouldn't say that to someone with two hands, so don't say it to me. I've been asked before, with modern technology, if in 10 years they were doing arm transplants, would I get one? I honestly don't think I would. I wouldn't know what to do with another hand! Haha, I type crazy fast with one hand--I would probably type SO slow trying to figure everything out with two! Not to mention everything else that I do on a day-by-day basis--I would feel like a toddler re-learning the world. I think I'm great the way I am--everything I've been through throughout my life has made me into the person I am today--and I think I'm pretty great ;)

...as I said at the beginning of this post, I debated even posting this. A lot of you know about my arm, some of you didn't, but most of you have never heard stories about it. Even though my heart is starting to race at the thought of clicking 'publish' in a second, I'm posting this to let you know that I'm okay. <3